The Empathy Foundation Network

Growing empathy for a peaceful world

I'm interested to know if anyone has seen or read this book, Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff. I am doubtful about these sorts of things, and respond with some skepticism when i hear that we can 'transform our lives' and 'release our negative emotions'. While i have experienced transformation on a personally level it seems to have become a bit of a buzz word and it's meaning watered down. The aversion to 'negative' feelings also seems to have gone into overkill.

I agree that we can easily get stuck in despair and immobilised by fear but to turn our back on those feelings denies us the learning and wisdom that comes from allowing the feelings to come to the surface in meaningful way that stops short of indulgence. This is my perspective and am interested in others in light of generating empathy and emotional intelligence.

What is your perspective on this?

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I haven't seen or read this book. However I am always a little sceptical of the sort of overkill of endorsements and free offers that were on the website. Here's a thought. What does emotional freedom mean? Freedom from all emotions? or just the uncomfortable ones? Freedom to choose which one we have.. and if so how to choose?
I have been working with the Sedona Method recently, which seems to be in sync with your perspective. It is a very simple process of allowing, welcoming, letting go and/or letting go of wanting to change, whatever feeling comes up, feelings we call good as well as the feelings we call bad. We can get as stuck with wanting to hold on to feeling good just as much as we do in not wanting to feel bad.
They are all just feelings and such a small part of our totality.
Hi Rita,

I appreciate your response a great deal. I bought the book on the Sedona Method about the same time as i bought Parenting for a Peaceful World, both on Alice's recommendation.

I haven't cracked Sedona Method. I think I have some blocks and am aware that often i'm far more focused on how i should feel than how i actually feel. This has been a disturbing realisation. So when i think of 'Could I let this go' my mind immediately responds with "Of course you should!"

I'd love to hear more about your and others experiences with Sedona Method that would help me overcome this.

with love and empathy,

Tathra
Hi Tathra,
With regard to your response to the questions in the Sedona Method, the key is to answer honestly from your feelings in the moment. It's not about rightness or logic. And there are definitely no shoulds in this method. You could always let a feeling go - but it may not feel in that moment true to answer yes - therefore no is the answer. It's best to answer a simple yes or no based honestly on your feeling in the moment. Whether or not you answer yes or no it will still work! You will release anyway. The action of asking the question and answering honestly in the moment has a releasing effect somehow.

The Sedona Method questions are asked with the rational conscious mind but the answers come from the unconscious and whatever answer comes up is the 'right' one.

See how it goes!

love , Alice
Hi Tathra
The mind is a tricky thing. One of my early strategies was to not even answer the questions with the conscious mind, knowing that the uncounscious and therefore the important part of the process already knew the answer. So I would ask myself the questions quite quickly and observe my resonses with a sense of curiousity. I would then notice if and when I felt a sense of release. For me it often came as a yawn or a dropping of the shoulders or sa deep breath in or I wouldj ust forget what I was doing and start thinking of something else. I guess that meant that for just this moment I had let the issue go.
It also gets tricky to wotk out what one needs to release first, so if your mind is saying "Of course I should let this go" then this is what you release of, the feelingof should let it go... see how that works.
Recenlty as I have been workingon more deeply embedded feelings the sense of release is not as obvious and often I think nothing is happening. However I always notice a change, maybe later inthe day or the next day or when that feeling next arises it is not quite so strong, or the person I had the issue with seems calmer.
I think this is a great exploration and when I can I try and keep that attitudeof and explorer in new territory, jsut observing what is. One last great thing is to realease on the good feelings as well. Then we don't get stuck in wanting them to stay forever ( not possible) When i released on the good feelings sometimes I would feel even better, and sometimes just more calm and generally Ok instead of high on excitement etc.
It's great for me to have a reason to write this down as it also helps my own process. Thanks for the opportunity to share.
With love'
Rita
I get your point Tathra and the aversion to negative feelings . I certainly don't want to be free of all emotions, negative or positive. I do think that humanity as a species has long way to go with regard to understanding how to relate to emotion and what its purpose or value is. I do want to be free from my emotions in the sense of not being compelled by my emotions to act in certain ways that do not serve me or others. Like Rita I find the Sedona Method very helpful, because it is a way to allow emotions to come to the surface and to pass through. It is the best method that i have found for letting go of attachments and aversions of all kinds.

While the buzz word phenomenon can be trite and diminishing of something so deep and mysterious as personal transformation, I also take some heart from the fact that there is a market for transformation that has made it a buzz word! Surely that does mean that human society is evolving if there is that much interest in transforming?

I would also like to have a look at all these books on emotional freedom so as to see if there is any new angle! But that would be a big task. Many are a rehash of what is already known but we are on a growth curve about relating to our emotions - it is not all known that's for sure. Also there are different ways of expressing the same thing that work for different people. I'm not of the opinion that there are too many self help/personal growth books as is often said. I have been so profoundly affected by these books and some speak to me whereas others don't. So who am I to say that any book is useless just became it doesn't speak to me. Which is not to say that all are valid - some may be rubbish, though i don't seem to come across them.

One thing has been interesting for me and that is that I don't actually much like the style of the Sedona Method website - and yet I find the method itself so simple, profoundly effective and accessible that it has become my most used coaching tool. One of my key roles with many friends and coaching clients in relation to the Sedona Method has been to get them past their reactions to the method - whether it is the way the questions are phrased, or the marketing or Hale Dwoskin's giggle on the CD's! Because I am so convinced of the huge value of this method I have persisted in encouraging people to persist with it. And in the vast majority of cases people have 'got it' and found it priceless once they have dropped their resistance in whatever form it may have arisen.

So... you can't judge a book by its cover? Is that it?
Hey Alice
I love Hale's giggle. I reckon anyone who can giggle like that on a a CD must have gone beyond a level of self consciousness that many of us still have. Thanks so much for your comments and observations. They reminded me that diversity is the key to a sustainable ecosystem, whether it be the Amozin rain forest or self help books and strategies. Thanks for your usual insight and wisdom
Much Love
Rita

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